Mount Rushmore Construction
A Sweet Livin’ Service
4 > 1
“The more hypothetical Mt. Rushmores there are and the less top ten lists there are, the better place the internet will be.”
–Proposed Anonymous Ancient Proverb*
*In addition to a proposed proverb, this is also a fact: mountains are taller than lists.
Ever since Mt. Rushmore was built last century, with four presidential heads being carved into a mountainside via dynamite, it has been the center of contests. In 1934 an essay contest to explain American history in 500 words gave winners scholarships, with one getting his words engraved in the monument.
Since then, people have realized that sports, not other stuff, is actually at the center of American history and importance, and have most commonly been using the famous monument to spur debates making (with dynamite of the verbal variety) their own Mount Rushmores: the four greatest basketball players of all time, the four greatest football players, the four greatest whatever, in reference to Mount Rushmore exalting what the designers felt to be the four greatest American presidents.
ESPN and other sports outlets particularly love constructing Mount Rushmores to center debates around:
You will note that there are four examples above. Did we just provide you with the Mount Rushmore of sports Mount Rushmore debates?
Argue about that with your friends. #Debate #CivilDiscourse
But what you cannot argue is this fact: sports love the hypothetical Mount Rushmores.
And things are getting a little out of hand.
But when exactly was it when things got out of hand in this world? When was it that sports went over the top and jumped the shark with their Mount Rushmores?
It wasn’t when Jayson Tatum declared he would like to be on the Mount Rushmore of Boston Celtics.
And it surely wasn’t when Cam Heyward made his Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Steelers. In fact, this is a good exercise that all students should do in school and the City of Pittsburgh certainly should construct a physical Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Steelers. Cam Heyward definitely didn’t go too far (some might say he did not go far enough with his verbal statement and should be investing his salary in the aforementioned physical Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Steelers, perhaps to be carved on the side of Mt. Washington? #ImprovingMounts).
If not the above instances, when then did sports dilute the power of their Mount Rushmores?
Was it when sports defaulted to lists of 4 without even needing to mention Mount Rushmore as it would be redundant to do so because everyone knows the number 4’s birthplace is a South Dakota mountaintop/side?
No, Mount Rushmore reconstructionism hit its height in elasticity in June of 2023 when the Buffalo Bills broke ground on their new stadium and their Executive Vice President/Chief Operating Officer Ron Raccuia (likely on the Buffalo Bills Mount Rushmore of Executive Vice President/Chief Operating Officers) constructed a “Mount Rushmore of people who made” the stadium deal happen, including Roger Goodell (perhaps metaphorically as Teddy Roosevelt? Raccuia did not say).
It is apparently not (yet) known who the other faces on the Mount Rushmore are of people who made the new Buffalo Bills stadium happen, as Raccuia may be saving that for later press conferences to help sell Bills season tickets or luxury boxes in the new stadium, or simply generate general items of interest for the general public in an otherwise uninteresting and uneventful world: in other words, perhaps Raccuia’s Mount Rushmore was an act of much-needed community service.
On one hand, we can think of Raccuia as ridiculous for using the Mount Rushmore reference in this instance. On the other hand, we can look at him as a pioneer who has opened the gates for making Mount Rushmore lists out of anything.
Here, at Sweet Livin’ Productions, we choose to view Raccuia as the latter, not only by putting him on our Mount Rushmore of Metaphorical Mount Rushmore-Making Pioneers, but also by following his lead.
But before we discuss exactly what marvelous direction that has sent us, we must note that it is not only his lead we are following, for there are others on the Mount Rushmore of Metaphorical Mount Rushmore-Making Pioneers.
Shannon Sharpe, formerly simply an NFL Hall of Famer and famous sports commentor, pushed Mount Rushmore Pioneer to the top of his resume by using his earlier resume builders as a platform to help bridge Mount Rushmore Constructionism to other popular and valuable arenas, such as rap, where Sharpe has fostered the construction of multiple Mount Rushmores. What is especially impressive about Sharpe in this interview is that when Cordae asks if Sharpe wants a Top Ten, Sharpe stands firm and makes it clear he values Mount Rushmores over Top Ten Lists. #Integrity #Champion
So considering what wonderful work two NFL figures in Raccuia and Sharpe are doing by leveraging their powerful positions for the good of Mount Rushmore Construction Expansionism, we have taken the path they paved, the trail they have blazed, and starting making Mount Rushmore lists out of nothing but sheer grit and imagination (and, at times, Black Velvet Whisky; and at other times, Carlos Rossi).
We construct these inspiring symbolic Mount Rushmores as an act of community service., an act of goodwill, a non-tax-deductible charitable donation. #TheIRSisBehindTheTimes
We designed and constructed these Mount Rushmores in much less time that it took the National Park Service to construct the one in South Dakota. And unlike the National Park Service, we don’t charge a time or infiltrate your private information by keep your personal information, like your license plate number, on record. Additionally, also unlike the National Park Service, we don’t require you to drive to South Dakota and risk a car accident that could be harmful to yourself or others just to see a Mount Rushmore. #Safety
Some Sweet Livin’ Mount Rushmores:
The Mount Rushmore of All-Time Great Pittsburgh Steelers Backup Quarterbacks
The Mount Rushmore of Macho Man Randy Savage Wrestling Promos
The Mount Rushmore of Macho Man Randy Savage Slim Jim Commercials
The Mount Rushmore of Slim Jim Flavors
The Mount Rushmore of Carlos Rossi
The Mount Rushmore of Black Velvet
The Mount Rushmore of Cheap, Disgusting Canadian Whisky
The Mount Rushmore of Diners in Bangor, Maine
The Mount Rushmore of Cheez-Its
The Mount Rushmore of Bananas on the Table
The Mount Rushmore of Songs Named After Alcohol
The Mount Rushmore of Junk Food
The Mount Rushmore of Slim Jim Ingredients
The Mount Rushmore of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
The Mount Rushmore of the Four Horses of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
The Mount Rushmore of Hot Sauces in This Crate Filled With Hot Sauces
The Mount Rushmore of Gulps from a Packet of Quipitos Pops
The Mount Rushmore of Quipitos Commercials
The Mount Rushmore of Kopiko Coffee Candies from This Bag of Kopiko Coffee Candies
The Mount Rushmore of Cheese Ends in These Bags of Cheese Ends
The Mount Rushmore of Toaster Strudels
The Mount Rushmore of Cream Cheese & Strawberry Toaster Strudels
The Mount Rushmore of Things That Are Never Bad
The Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Bridges
The Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Bridges That Did Not Make The Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Bridges
The Mount Rushmore of Pittsburgh Bridge Literature
The Mount Rushmore of Microwavable Bacon (Available at My Local Grocery Store)
The Mount Rushmore of Ways to Watch The Shopper & The Salesman: a Sweet Livin’ Web Series, Season #1
The Mount Rushmore of Gunslinger Liquor
You had an awesome time visiting all of the Mount Rushmores, but you are still have a hole in your life that can be only filled by more high-quality Mount Rushmores?
No need to panic and go slumming the Other Internet for lower-quality Mount Rushmores or top-ten or top-whatever lists that don’t even use the number four.
We also offer you a tailored service, where we can make a (hypothetical) Mount Rushmore just for you, the individual intelligent person who has chosen to visit this page and read this far. Click on the Learn More About Our Personally-Tailored Mount Rushmore Construction Services button below to learn more about our personally-tailored Mount Rushmore construction services.
You Had An Amazing Experience, But You Still Want More…
“The fastest path to having more great presidents and making our country stronger is to have more Mount Rushmores.”
– Anonymous Sweet Livin’ Productions Political Consultant
