About Us
While reading the backside of a popular health bar wrapper one day, Nate had a life-altering epiphany that his life was missing a self-serving origin story.
Nate realized that in order to make an origin story, he needed to create a company.
Thus Sweet Livin’ Productions was born.
While reading the above origin story one day, Nate realized that some people may not believe it to be a true origin story. It is not that they would not believe the fascinating sequence of above events took place; it is that they may not believe that the above sequence contains the elements requisite to call something an origin story. So Nate needed to get back to the origin-story drawing board. He needed to write another one.
Thus the following origin story:
While drinking Black Velvet Whisky one day, Nate came to the realization that his life was missing the good deeds capital necessary to accumulate enough interest before death to afford purchasing a ticket into heaven. After finishing the Black Velvet Whisky, Nate promptly recycled the bottle. Then he wondered, “in case God, like many American states, does not participate in the redeemable bottles program, what more good can I do in this world?”
Noting the worldwide obesity epidemic causing health problems that no amount of fad diets or top-ten internet blogs had yet been able to cure, Nate decided a new type of thinking was needed, one that cut out such unnecessary “middlemen” as healthcare professionals, nutritionists, farmers, scientists, researchers, etc. In order to curb human addiction to refined sugar, Nate toiled in the lab, like the scientists of old (and science fictions characters of old), in order to create a non-diabetes-inducing method to dealing with life’s pressures.
As the old labs of old science had produced no solution to the sugar epidemic, Nate employed a modern lab, portable in nature and profound in design: the Black Velvet Whisky bottle.
After much experimentation, Sweet Livin’ Productions was born.
Yes kids, science can be sweet. But it doesn’t have to be so sugary.
Unlike its sugary competitors (like sugar, for example), Sweet Livin’ Productions is a zero calorie, zero refined sugar method to making life sweet. More Keto-friendly than the Keto diet itself, Nate’s easy solution requires no health insurance--or any insurance at all. You do not need to be a responsible adult in any form or fashion to participate.
You do not even need money. Simply by watching free Sweet Livin’ Web Series, taking free Sweet Livin’ Polls, or touristing free Sweet Livin’ Mount Rushmores, you can sweeten up your life and still have enough available calories to drink Black Velvet Whisky for the majority of the day (this statement has not, yet, been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration). Warning: Consult your doctor, dietitian, and local liquor store before partaking in this diet.
The Next Level
For those extreme health nuts who wish to open their wallets to invest more heavily in preventative medicine, you can buy Sweet Livin’ Merch such as t-shirts, mugs, etc. Yes, dabble in immortality by dipping your toes into the fountain of youth with this organic Sweet Livin’ bucket hat. By doing so, you will help fulfill the Carlisle Prophecy of making heaven a place on earth.
Origins For Everyone
If you have a boring mini-bio or origin story that you like to sweeten up, we can safely and healthily do that too. We offer all types of organic and gluten-free options. Just contact us here for our Origin Story Sweetening Department.
Cleaning Up Potential Misperceptions & Misconceptions
Because some people fail to click on every single button on this great internet, like the above “Get Introspective” Button which would lead to introspection that prevent misconceptions, we are forced to produce this backup plan here to help people prevent error in their thinking patterns.
Because of our name, many may assume that we mix our whiskey with Coca-Cola. That is, they may note the prominence of “Sweet” in our namesake and the prominence of sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, or a diet sugar substitute in Coca-Cola and then rush to the assumption that we therefore support the idea of mixing our whiskey (or you mixing your whiskey) with Coca-Cola.
But that is not the case.
Sweetness is not just about the literal genre of taste that hits your tongue. Sweetness is more broad, more important than that. Like Einstein said “imagination is more important than knowledge” because the latter is limited while the former is not, so too is true figurative sweetness more important than the simple carbohydrate sweetness that might have lucked into VIP passes to your tongue’s taste bud cells. True sweetness–as Einstein said of imagination–”encircles the world.”
One can encircle their world in a sweet moment–drinking whiskey in a hammock while listening to a 2Pac song, for instance--without unnecessarily inundating (and diluting) it with Coca-Cola’s cheap sweetness substitutes. The idea of a whiskey and Coke, we logically surmise, must have been derived from those too ignorant of 2Pac and hammocks to mix their neat drink with those truly sweet ingredients that keep it properly pure. If one compares the comfort of sleeping on a case of Cokes versus sleeping on a hammock, one quickly realizes that Coca-Cola makes for a terrible hammock substitute.
Don’t substitute your sweetness.
Note about whiskey and its meaning: When we use the word “whiskey,” it inherently infers “good whiskey.” For even when we choose to imbibe cheap whiskey, we select the finest brands of the cheap variety (i.e. Black Velvet). We make this note to clarify that when whiskey is mentioned the reader should be immediately aware that it is a product superior to Coca-Cola and that thus mixing it with Coca-Cola constitutes an inherent dilution.
Note about whiskey and its spelling: Whiskey has a long and storied history. As such, it naturally has become popular in many countries across the globe which has resulted in variations of the spelling–whiskey and whisky. Typically American and Irish Englishes use the “e” while Scottish and Canadian Englishes forgo the “e” (Japan, who is also a fan of the beverage, also forgoes the “e”). In the spirit of combating dilution and fostering high levels of intellectualism that have pleasantly saturated our hearty discussion thus far, it is important for us to question if using the whiskey-with-the-e spelling constitutes a dilution of the word itself and thus if using it is intellectually sound and proper. We can only say that we are in ongoing (high-level) conversations with our top grammarians and copy editors as well as those outside our esteemed organization. While we are currently using the “e” spelling here, the conversation is ongoing and, like the fine beverage of whiskey itself, fluid.