Previous Hypothetical Bear Campaign #18
for
The World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World Best Bear Poll
A talented computer programmer programmed a program that could create automated votes for real political contests across the globe.
But he decided against such democracy disruptions because it would be illegal and immoral.
And it would not have the lofty impact on the world he so desired.
Still, what was this computer programmer to do with such a powerful program?
Well, as they say, ”one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” This idea may not just apply to different men, but also the same man with a different perspective on things. For instance, trash could just be trash but once you feed it to pigs (pre-FDA, of course—or maybe not of course) and then later cook them into bacon, it is treasure (which could always be elevated in value to a double bacon cheeseburger).
So this particular man, now more well-rounded because of the bacon in his stomach and his new sense of puprose you are about to see manifest, reasoned—and as a computer programmer he was a very reasonable man, using logic and computer-like objectivity and so forth—that as such “one man’s illegal and immoral actions are another man’s treasure.” Recognizing that it was not immoral or illegal to use his computer program to vote as many times as possible in the World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World Famous Bear Poll (as long as he also bought a lot–and we mean A LOT–of Merch on the site).
Of course the computer programmer won the Poll and subsequently lost his long-held involuntarily virginity. So, like all things with Sweet Livin’ Polls, even by losing you win.
Some of the proceeds from that Merch went to Some Charities We Like and made them able to do many more good deeds, helping make this world unarguably the best place it has ever been for all humans and animals, especially bears—both real and animated.
Unfortunately this campaign was only hypothetical–as noted in this name–and this world is not unarguably the best place it has ever been for all humans and animals, especially bears—both real and animated..
So we must keep trying.
We must strive to make the hypothetical real.
By voting in the World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll as often as possible and running a successful campaign while buying a lot of Sweet Livin’ Merch along the way, you can help make this world a better place–more specifically, you help make this world unarguably the best place it has ever been for all humans and animals.
Especially bears.
Especially the bear of your choice that you campaigned for.