World's Best Bear, 2023
Runner-Up
Kodiak Bear
How They Got Here
In what may be evidence in support of the “size matters” phrase, the Kodiak Bear, the largest in the world at 10 feet tall when standing on their legs and 5 feet when all fours and weighing it at up to 1,500 pounds, does not have trouble getting noticed (citation: Their Success Here). This sometimes can be to their detriment in public opinion though as some of their “juvenile delinquents,” according to the Alaska State government who knows a thing or two about Kodiak Bears, have runs-in with people and “cause problems.” Perhaps it’s those rebellious youngsters who kept the Kodiak Bear away from the ever-coveted gold medal in 2023. With those youth grow up and mature into first place in 2024? We will see.
Where They Came From
They came from the grizzly bear, but parted ways about 12,000 years ago, foreseeing their more successful finish in the World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll than the grizzly bear, who only managed 2.2% of the vote, but did manage 8% when combined with the brown bear—who grizzlies are a subspecies of—and almost 10% if you add in the 1.4% the Brown Bear Car Wash managed. Still, even when considering the broadest reach of the grizzly bear as we just did with the above mathematics, the Kodiak bear outperformed it. The pupil outshines the teacher, as they say.
What’s Next For Them
They did well. But of course every bear wants to capture the top spot, which has been the goal of the Kodiak Bear for 12,000 years. In order to do so, they will each need to rein the juvenile delinquents discussed above or increase their voter outreach. If they are able to do both, they could very well be the 2024 winner of the World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll. “The sky is the limit,” as they say. But that would be underestimating the Kodiak bear, for being Runner-Up is the sky when you are competing in the World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll. Being the Winner means reaching the heavens, which the Kodiak Bear is fully capable of.
