Previous Hypothetical Bear Campaign #9

for

The World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World Best Bear Poll

Noting the danger of pharmaceutical amphetamine abuse and recognizing the importance of stimulants being used in accordance with the intended dosage, a group of sorority girls in the Midwest made the wise decision to forego overdosing on Ritalin and Adderall cocktails, instead drinking copious amounts of organic coffee to vote for their favorite bear (that happened to be well-hung, which does not necessarily have anything to do with sorority girl priorities) as many times as possible while making their pledges do the same instead of other more archaic and dangerous hazing rituals.  As such, they made the sorority a safer, more inviting, and inclusive environment, while also leading their favorite bear to hypothetical victory in this hypothetical World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll Campaign.   

A rival sorority that did not partake in a hypothetical World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll Campaign and had unethical pledging and hazing practices got kicked off campus, leaving all of the good recruits for the aforementioned wise sorority.