Previous Hypothetical Bear Campaign #3

for

The World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World Best Bear Poll

“Jenny” was a yoga instructor.  She was good at it.  She was also a good person–so good that she literally gave the shirt off of her back to people who needed shirts.  She did this so many times that she didn’t have any shirts left.  But teaching Yoga shirtless (Jenny reportedly had what were widely considered to be very nice breasts, not to be crude, but to be frank, because transparency is valued in these hypothetical situations) attracted the wrong crowd.  Frankly, the yoga classes were getting dangerous. 

Jenny needed to do something.   Rather than hiring private security who may have only worsened the situation by also gawking at her breasts (why are there so many perverts in this world, even in the hypothetical version of it?), she decided to pursue a more sustainable and positive route.

She bought a lot of Sweet Livin’ t-shirts in effort to sway us in helping her favorite bear to win a World Famous Sweet Livin Productions’ World’s Best Bear Poll.  While we cannot reveal all of the details of how this campaign ended, we can say that the results were positive.  With the Sweet Livin’ shirts covering her breasts, the yoga classes did become safer.  However, some of us now attend her class less frequently (we were not the ones making the class unsafe) and the structural soundness of our Downward Dogs has collectively decreased, somewhat hypothetically.   

It should be noted that people still stared at her chest during the yoga classes, but she felt comfortable knowing they were likely just staring at the words “Sweet Livin’” printed on the t-shirt, which would only be natural for her highly literate yoga crowd.

Moral of the Story: Sometimes you have to create your own karma; if you give someone the shirt off of your back, sometimes (as in usually) you have to replace that shirt by purchasing a Sweet Livin’ shirt.