Previous Hypothetical Bear Campaign #16
for
The World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World Best Bear Poll
Two suitors were going after the same woman. It was a tale as old as time. Suitor #1 was trying to impress her at the State Fair by winning her a teddy bear at one of those impossible carnival games where you need to shoot balloons. But he drained his bank account doing so and never won the bear. She was not impressed. She was further not impressed because Suitor #1, having drained his bank account as noted above, was unable to make his car payments and thus had it repossessed. He could no longer pick the girl up to go on dates and the dates ceased altogether–not only for this girl above, but Suitor #1 never got lucky with any girl ever again.
Suitor #1 now has a bicycle with a flat tire and spends extraordinary amounts of time watching pornographic videos on the Other Internet.
Suitor #2 knew there was a better way to win her a bear and her heart. He knew she was a smart girl that appreciated the intellectual. So he put all his time, effort, money, and emotions into winning her a World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll. Of course she was impressed and married him on the spot.
They do not watch pornographic videos on the Other Internet. As a result, their computers run faster due to less weird website cookies and spyware.
Additionally, they own a bicycle built for two. That bicycle does not have any flat tires.
Like we said: a tale as old as time. For Suitor #1 and Suitor #2 are one in the same, the former is the Beast and the latter is the Young Prince, who realized his charming ways and dispensed with his beastiness when he saw the beauty of the World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll.
As for the aforementioned bicycle with the flat tire, it is in the garage and never gets used.
As for the pornographic videos on the Other Internet, he watches those when she is not home. Nobody is perfect.
But, as seen above, you don’t need to perfect when you win a World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll. And the late, great John Madden famously said, “Winning’s the great deodorant.”
And boy what great a scent it is when you win a World Famous Sweet Livin’ Productions World’s Best Bear Poll—after all, it is the best kind of winning!