Become a Billionaire!

A Quick & Easy Sweet Livin’ Program

Tired of not being able to find the necessary Scrabble letters to spell out “cash”?

And/or tired of not having the accompanying 100-dollar bills?

Tired of not having gold bars laying around?

Tired of not being able to afford food on a Charcuterie board?

The Solution

We have a simple solution for you:

Become a billionaire.

Then you will be able to afford all the Scrabble pieces, cash, gold bars, Charcuterie boards, and little pieces of delicious food you want.

Some people say it’s hard to become a billionaire, but some people are annoying pessimists.

Some people don’t know about the SLP Sweet Livin’ Billionaire Program.

The Sweet Livin’ Become-a-Billionaire Program

Just like 40 is the new 30, billionaire is the new millionaire. As such, one may argue that inflation is the remedy for aging.

But we are not here to make that argument.

We are here to make you rich.

Not the old rich, of being a millionaire. But the new rich, of being a billionaire.

Through our Billionaire Creation Program, more officially known as the Sweet Livin’ Become-a-Billionaire Program.

But as a responsible company made up of semi-responsible people (#SumIsGreaterThanTheParts), our program is not designed simply to make you a billionaire at all costs, without regards to the process; our program is designed to make you a billionaire the responsible way.

To get to the path of responsible billionaire creation, we first must look at the road to irresponsible billionaire creation.

The Irresponsible Road to Billions

Some people do complicated things to become billionaires, like start businesses and spend their whole life growing them, often stepping on other people’s feet and indulging in some bullying their parents would frown upon*.

This young, aspiring billionaire brought boxing gloves to school not because she’s pursuing the admirable goal of climbing the WBA or WBC rankings to become sweeter in the sweet science of boxing but instead because she’s pursuing the unadmirable goal of bullying classmates out of their lunch money so she can invest it in risky Leveraged ETFs; she is going down an irresponsible road to billionairehood with techniques well outside of the Sweet Livin’ Become-a-Billionaire Program that may even get her sanctioned by the WBA or WBC, though that hos not yet officially happened at the time of publication**.

You think that above below-the-belt-punching boxer started young? Well things are happening earlier nowadays as the youth are growing up faster and faster and trying everything at younger and younger ages. With everyone getting greedier and greedier, this very young, baby-faced (face not pictured) aspiring billionaire is already stepping on his mom’s feet, letting nothing—even the person who just spent nine months carrying him in her belly—get in his way of going down the wrong path to billions, which he will be able to get down quickly because of his ability to walk earlier than most.

This more-experienced backstabber may already be a millionaire as she has already participated in a backstabbing or two. She has made more progress than our first knife-wielder on her irresponsible path to billions. It is thought she is taking a more “earthy” approach as we don’t believe she is wearing shoes, a risky and irresponsible move as one progresses down the long, irresponsible, and thorny path to billions—and unsightly bunions. But she is not concerned about healthy plantar ergonomics; she is dead focused on finding another back to stab to get another unhealthy and irresponsible step closer to irresponsible billionairehood—and is cleverly doing so by concealing the knife behind her back so the next victim she screws over in a business deal will never see the betrayal coming.

Quick Pause for Health Check

If all of this bullying, backstabbing, and foot-stepping-on is making you nauseous, it means you have a soul; it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve billions.

Because there is another way to become filthy rich.

A better way.

A more responsible way.

A more sweet way.

A more Sweet Livin’ way.

The Responsible Path To Billions

Step #1: Take a Picture

But not just any photo, the perfect future-billionaire photo.

What’s the perfect billionaire photo?

Well, let’s take a look together.

The Photo Below.

*Had they not paid their parents off with millions of their billions to smile.

**Of this stock photo, on this website.

This giddy knife-wielder is eager to start his journey to becoming a billionaire by looking for a back to stab, a classic turn down the irresponsible path to becoming a billionaire.

Great Photo Analysis

Notice anything about this photo?

Yes, it is not a stock photo.

Yes, the people in it are incredible good-looking?

But notice anything else?

Yes, they are not billionaires.

Yet.

This picture was taken in 2011, when Zhang Zetian was 18 years old and not a billionaire.

Just four years after taking this picture, Zhang Zetian became a billionaire.

How did she do it?

By following the sweet & easy Sweet Livin’ Productions Become-A-Billionaire Program.

So what is the programs exactly.

The SLP Become-A-Billionaire Program:

2 Easy Steps

Step #1: Take a picture with a Sweet Livin’ Productions member**.

Step #2: Marry a billionaire.

Then, she married billionaire Liu Qiangdong. Now she’s a billionaire.

So, if you taken a picture with a member of Sweet Livin’ Productions, in four years, you could be become a billionaire too.

Why isn’t Nate a billionaire?

Because the Sweet Livin’ Become-a-Billionaire Program requires the person to take a picture with a Sweet Livin’ Productions member and then wait four years (or more). Because Zhang Zetian is not a part of Sweet Livin’ Productions, Nate has not become a billionaire. In this way, Sweet Livin’ Productions is very generous in making others billionaires rather than themselves through the design inherent in the Sweet Livin’ Become-a-Billionaire Program.

Wow, this is the best program I ever heard of. How can I get such a picture?

1) Suspend your disbelief and doubt.

2) Prepare your mind, body, soul, and stomach for Charcuterie boards and the associated rations.

3) Open your mind.

4) Open your wallet.

5) Open your email and send us a message.

OR:

**The picture was taken before the official formation of Sweet Livin’ Productions, but Nate was still saying Sweet Livin’ a lot back then, so it all checks out.